Fire Jim Tracy

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Dodger Opening Day Live-Blog

2:21 PM: We started with Vin Scully, because Fox Sports Communist Bay Area couldn't get their act together, but they just took him away. Bastards.

2:23 PM: See, bastards. That's what you get, bastards. Bastards.

2:24 PM: Five fastballs to Choi. What does the scouting report say, do you think?

2:32: The Big Cat gets the out at first.

2:33: We've now seen two Giants slide into first -- Vizquel stupidly. Of course, the Giants broadcasters are impressed.

2:36: It turns out that Jeff Kent can step on second just as well as Alex Cora! A Breakthrough!
Derek Lowe Groundball count -- 3 groundballs, 3 outs.

2:42: Fricking Communist Bay Area -- can we just have Vinny please? I'm right now watching a slide that says Opening Day...and now commercials. Well, I did catch the Giants guys being extraordinarily bitter about Ledee getting a base hit, so that's a positive.

2:44: Yahoo tells me that Phillips delivered the Sac Fly. I'm still watching commercials. I guess the FSCBA figures that if they can't show the game, they might as well earn some money.

2:48: I'm now on my sixth straight minute of commercials. Thank you, Giants broadcasting team, for being complete morons.

2:51: Oh, look, the game. Thanks, Communists.

2:51: Derek Lowe Groundball Count -- 4 groundballs, 3 outs, 1 infield single that I didn't see because of general Bay Area incompetence

2:52: Special Marlins Edition -- Paul Lo Duca is up. Govern yourselves accordingly.

2:54: Jason Schmidt just wasted arm torque on Cesar Izturis. Haha.

2:55: Oh great. Back to the Giants broadcast. Let's take votes on how long they can keep the rodents running this time.

2:56: Special Marlins Edition -- Juan Encarnacion hits a 3 run homerun off John Smoltz, whose resurgence has been greatly exaggerated.

3:00: Phillips guns down Ray Durham. Screw you Plaschke.

3:01: Joe Morgan, you are an idiot. I hate to say it, because you were a great ballplayer. But you have no idea what you are talking about.

3:02: Derek Lowe gets hosed on a breaking ball. Even the Giants announcer says that the Umpire is "not one of the League's better breaking ball umpires." No kidding.

3:03: A J.T. Snow special? Standing there and drawing an (un)intentional walk? OK.

3:05: Beltre would have had that line drive.

3:06: Raul Mondesi takes strike 3. Duh.

3:07 Jerry will vouch for the fact that just before Alou popped up, I was screaming "Give him that high breaking ball again!" And there you go. Alou looks like he's never seen one before.

3:11: A gift walk. Schmidt is not 100%.

3:14: Could Kent have gotten a bigger jump? Maybe against Nomo.

3:15: Meanwhile, in Florida, John Smoltz walks the pitcher.

3:19: Ricky, he's trying to walk you. Geez.

3:20: Cora would have had that one.

3:20: Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like groundballs better.

3:30: Had to turn on the grill. Back now.

3:31: The scouting report was right.

3:34: Hello, bullpen my old friend. It's nice to talk to you again.

3:35: Shawn Green would have had that. (HA!)

3:39: If Bill Plaschke wrote for the San Francisco Chronicle, and that was Hee Seop Choi, J.D. Drew and Jeff Kent who just delivered two pop ups and a ground ball with two on and no one out, he would have had an aneurysm.

3:49: It's a line drive right at Kent, and he spears it! When will this amazing defense stop!

3:53: Lowe going six strong. One mistake to Alfonso and worked out of a couple of jams. Very nice.

3:56: Jose. You gots to hit that 3-1 pitch.

3:57: I'm loving the leadoff walk.

3:59: The crowd is concerned as the count to Ledee goes to 2-1.

4:03: Leave Lowe in.

4:04: Leave Schmidt in.

4:05: Does anyone else have a deja vu sort of vibe going?

4:08: That was a tough at-bat for Lowe. Tucker took a nasty 2-2 pitch, then Lowe came up with the 3-2 pitch. Credit to Tucker on that one.

The Giants announcers are not that annoying. I missed who the analyst is, but he's been relatively fair and made some interesting points.

4:11: Before anybody starts wigging out about how we didn't turn that double play, that was the Giants' leadoff hitter on a high two-hopper with Tucker sliding right into Kent's pivot leg. And he beat the throw by an eyelash.

4:12: Why can't Dodger pitchers pitch to J.T. Snow? An entire outing possibly wasted by one stupid at-bat. Good night.

4:14: Jerry informs me that he walked Omar Vizquel on four pitches. That might be the worst thing I've ever heard. This must be why he had a 5 ERA last year.

4:14: Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. God no.

4:16: Most important inning of the season coming up. I am not making this up.

4:19: Valentin may not make it out of May 1.

4:20: By the way, don't forget that Choi saved a run on the throw.

4:24: I've lost the will to type.

4:28: I think we inherited the Red Sox curse.

4:31: Six months of dealing with Plaschke, and this is what this team gives me? I suppose I should have been studying.

4:33: And when did Scott Eyre become fricking Bruce Sutter? Those were great 11 pitch at bats that ended with ugly whiffs on Ball 4.

4:34: J.D. Drew would have had that. :)

4:35: Guillermo Mota would have had that.

4:41: 73 MPH followed by 75 MPH from Wunsch.

4:44: Wunsch eats Durham's lunch. Meanwhile, in other news, my fantasy team is now hitting 6 for 35 for the season. Fantastic. So glad Jerry got me involved in that nonsense. Is it too late to forget that I knew baseball ever existed?

4:48: Good night, Gracie. This team is dead.

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